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Apr 17, 2014

Does the job own you?

Does the job own you?

Some of you may quickly turn around and say but we don't have a job.

The idea is not job. Idea is that does responsibility or commitment to things own you?

I understand that being a twenty gets to be another era because of the word 'growing up' or 'responsibility' attached to it. And we spend major part of the twenty enjoying it. Past the middle ground of this decade though this begins to act like a baggage.

And when I say baggage I mean a lot of things, such as:

When jobs begin to act has harbingers of constant preoccupation
When jobs stop making us happy or proud but tensed and distressed
When jobs start to look as everyday things we have to to no matter what
when jobs stop giving us a break

Read the last line, when jobs stop giving us a break. I believe if we don't wish to do anything, no one can compel us into doing so. And hence when we say that jobs or responsibility tie us down we actually only employ the expression to create a fallacy.

What can we do to prevent this?



Create an 'I' and remember to center ideas around it
Never let your identity be determined by things other expect of you, but things you wish to do
Sense of accomplishment should be self-sustaining, not requiring validation at every juncture
The idea of being responsible is owning something not being owned by it.

In your everyday place, is there a responsibility or a task which you feel has become the center of your life? Share with us how you deal with such things.

If you are taking part in A-Z blogging challenge this April, then do leave your blog link in comments, will surely link it up with my posts. Thanks!



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Apr 16, 2014

Need a desk to work on?

I read this in an article that in your mid-twenty you begin to crave for a desk to work. The whole idea of work gets attached to having a desk.

And suddenly I realised it is true in my case. I need a desk to write, to read often.

The idea is not to have a desk and work, the idea is that all too quickly mid-twenty becomes about symbolism. A flashy new dress for a wedding means a lovely celebration, a swanky car is status and yes those foreign trips mean you are doing all too well.

And then you ask why has your life become complicated?




I will share with you my personal experience. When I got married we didn't have a car. And of course the need for it was highlighted very soon. Back then we were starting from scratch, all our money had been duly put back into a parental home or sibling's education.

Despite the budget not allowing, I insisted we buy a sedan and husband in an attempt to make me happy agreed. Not that we got broke or bankrupt. Soon enough we managed our expenses and things got back on track.

Last month due to work we decided to move to Pune. Due to some government taxes, we had to sell off our car. Of course we had to buy another one. When the time came for us to decide the car, I chose the smallest possible. No not Nano, but another one.

My husband got surprised and I told him that in the past two years we have never really quite made any use of our sedan. It has been a sitting duck with its extra space. Now instead of again starting a loan, let us buy a car we can afford comfortably with no extra finance help.

I learnt it late. If I had understood that symbolism is more or less empty I could have saved a good fifty thousand rupees that went as loan interest.

Being in your mid twenties suddenly everything begins to be about what shows, internally our locus of control becomes centered around objects.

Do you believe it too? Is symbolism a part of yours or someone else's life? How do you handle it?

If you are taking part in A-Z blogging challenge this April, then do leave your blog link in comments, will surely link it up with my posts. Thanks!

Apr 15, 2014

Make mistakes. Lots of them.

In the rush of growing up we often forget where we are heading to. And in due course fumble, fall pick ourselves up and move on. Slowly this starts to become a regular pattern and we of course being humans wish to evolve or learn from our mistakes.

And the first learning we get is to stop making mistakes. We lose the sense of impulsiveness or readiness to take on the world as it is.

But this is not who we are, right? Again like I have been doing in the past I will add a thought.


The depression we experiencing while entering thirties or forties is not that we are going old. But that we are losing the sense of being alive. Our life suddenly looks like a bed of thorned follies and one which we vow never to make again.

But aren't then also the same who make us who we are today.

When we decide to stop making mistakes a part of us dies, the part that is the inventor the Lenardo of our times and it is this which makes us feel old.

Hence the moral of the story is ' Don't stop making mistakes. They are what you will be left with when all your stories of life have been told over and over again. And they will be the ones that cause most memories to come back."

Yes of course which mistakes have forever been a part of my life :D

The idea of giving free ka gyaan to people. I am forever preaching things. It backfires a lot of times. But in one of those rare moments it changes someone's life and it gets all worth it!

What is it that you decided should remain with you, no matter how flawed?

If you are taking part in A-Z blogging challenge this April, then do leave your blog link in comments, will surely link it up with my posts. Thanks!

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Don't forget to tune in to #blogchatter every Tuesday at Nine PM IST. To read more about this twitter chat you can click here.

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Apr 14, 2014

Has it gotten very lonely?

Mid-twenties are like a bad party hangover. The sudden rush of being a teen and then entering twenty is followed by a large phase of lull. Almost everything has been done and over with. In most cases associated with some bad experiences. And the good ones come with a sure shot tag of 'never coming back.'

Most of the mid-twenties begin to complain of depression, a strange sense of emptiness, loneliness.

It has a lot of reasons.


Friends have all moved on and taken up responsibilities like you
Paucity of time adds on to the sense of being lonely
Everything you had imagined has either gotten over or gone bad
And thirty is not the age you had thought of planning or enjoying

But then why not dust away these reasons and along with it this deep rooted sense of loneliness.

Here is what I often do.

Create lots of whatsapp groups. And add old friends. Make sure you take out at least half an hour each day to connect. Those of you who don't like whatsapp as such, perhaps a phone call every week. Idea is to stay connected.

Remember that work and life can wait for you. If you don't have time for yourself, what is the use of everything that you do? Every day take out half an hour again to do something you enjoy. And do it for yourself.

If everything you had imagined has either gotten over or gone bad then plan new things. Create another dream, another challenge for yourself and work towards it. Remember life is a constant work in progress.

Thirty is not what you planned on enjoying? Well had you not planned on enjoying twenty? Have you or are you enjoying it? So nothing goes as per plans. And thirty will be awesome again because it is not planned!

Have you been lonely? Have you found days of depression always increasing? Tell us what you do to dust them away?

If you are taking part in A-Z blogging challenge this April, then do leave your blog link in comments, will surely link it up with my posts. Thanks!

Apr 12, 2014

Kewl is not Cool!

Because 'ma' friend, suddenly the world has changed. Yes what was kewl last decade is not cool today.

Identity crisis is one of the initial symptoms of being a mid-twenty. You are neither there nor here. Parents often treat you as a kid when they feel they should and for all other responsible times please welcome the adult to the family.

Speaking of younger ones, they find you boring and not cool (because you dared say 'kewl') and the idea of growing up has gotten scarred watching what it did to you. (I have heard this, so yes I can contest its validity :D)

But jokes apart, being a mid-twenty is all about being conflicted. You are at the brink of settling down (Read marriage and kids) and yet there is something bohemic about you. Often that one last road trip that is left or a guitar class which had to continue or perhaps that lost love which needs a chance. So much left and so much to do.

Identity crisis has its deepest root in twenties.

What can one do to evade it perhaps outlast it.

1. Realise that change is inevitable and so is permanency. No matter how much the times grow on you, a part of you will remain same. So while embracing change do not let the kewl get out of the heart :D

2. If it was really about the decade you grow then many of us would be prehistoric pieces kept in museums well it is not. So live the decades as they come and remember you make decades not decades make you :D

3. Create a space where you exist as such. Irrespective of times and age. Make growing up irrelevant.

4. Now sit back, rest and relax. Drink a cup of tea or so. Read the above three points again, what did you notice? Come on don't be afraid, accept it. Yes you got it, they are all same.

Why did I write the same thing thrice ? To drill the point home.

Decades don't make you, you make decades. Age doesn't come in your way, you can come in its way thought. And lastly don't get lost in discovering yourself, remember there is always a name to revert to.

Be you. Be cool. Be kewl. 




If you are taking part in A-Z blogging challenge this April, then do leave your blog link in comments, will surely link it up with my posts. Thanks!