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Apr 22, 2014

Settled or Unsettled?

This one will be a quick rant on being a 'settled' mid-twenty!

So you all know how I have been transferred this month to Pune. All the way from Lucknow, flying 1500 kms away I reach the land of youth. Ironically it makes me feel more old.

Because the world is hell bent on judging all us mid-twenties on our idea of being 'settled'. This includes:

Marriage
Package
House
Social life
More.

This more is what often gets to me most. More can be how clean and well maintained your house is or how much of gold jewelry you received in your wedding. How many times your husband surprised you with rose petals on your bed and you updated the same on all social media sites. Arghhhh.

Are you too unsettled while going down the path of being settled? I now pronounce you mid and twenty, you may crib about life.

Take it slow. Yes they will bombard you with their expectations and 'motivations' but the trick is to turn deaf for a while.

Remember every once in a while a moment of deep unsettling emotion will rise, remember you are not to turn a reactive nose to it. Ignore and this too shall pass

Creating your world is your prerogative, others may take a hike. Suggest them a good place too, say moon?

If it feels unsettling remember it cannot be something called settled.

Tell us what made you more unsettled yet at the onset looked like you are one step closer to being settled? Share with us your stories of these times.

If you are taking part in A-Z blogging challenge this April, then do leave your blog link in comments, will surely link it up with my posts. Thanks!



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Apr 21, 2014

Are all mid twenties resisting change?

Yes I used the word all. Because I know it is true. Mid-twenty is an age of silent rebel. There are no parents, no teachers not even elder siblings to rebel against but only the daily churns of life.

Not even silent retorts of friends over nothing to fight with. Mid-twenty as I stated earlier is a lonely phase. It is one which has invisible pressures of different kinds and mind is filled with resistance from all quarters.

What are these changes?

  • Where we all started same many of us have gone down different paths and while some did well in careers some in personal life. The equality felt as a group has evaporated
  • With every iota of responsibility a degree of freedom get substituted.
  • No matter how much we dream some of the dreams have gotten over with time and age
  • Sitting idle is no longer an option
  • Every step has a choice and every choice a price
It is not easy being a mid-twenty I agree. And this not being easy is the big change we all wish to resist. Now every step needs to be weighed against a future which is to come. Will I still earn as much if I quit job? Will marrying this guy get me to be happy? Are my parents only trying to pacify me or they really do believe I did fine? Does my tomorrow still hold good in the light of present decisions?

And who would not want to run away from the 360 degree of change?

But then stop and think. Is the change only bad? Are there no freebies you get at the quarter of the century?

You are more or less not at the mercy of someone else's decision
Where responsibility has increased but the seed of independence has gotten deeper
Financial independence has its own benefits
Some of the things get a lot more clearer with age, like career options
Lets face it parents have become a whole lot sweeter :D

Tips to handle change!

Remember this too shall pass.
You are not alone in this, a whole lot of these are with you!
At least there are no written exams to give this side of twenty :D

Embrace this era like never before. Remember with every passing moment comes a new ray of hope in this life. Look at this woman typing the post, she has been standing on her two feet all day but happily catching up on her A-Z posts. Another side effect of being a mid-twenty, setting up your house while moving cities :D

Have you resisted change at the turn of being a mid-twenty? Which one was hardest for you?

If you are taking part in A-Z blogging challenge this April, then do leave your blog link in comments, will surely link it up with my posts. Thanks!



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Apr 19, 2014

Do twenty something question everything?

Is doubt or self doubt second name to you? Do you believe that asking questions is a better way than giving answers to somebody?

Then there is a high probability you are in your mid twenty or at least still under a hangover of it.

Most mid-twenties have an immense sense of awareness about their past failures and mistakes. And one learning that cuts across all is that they feel they trusted something or somebody too quickly. Hence risk taking ability reduces and the drive to doubt all increases by leaps and bounds.

Excess of everything is bad. So where blind trust is detrimental, doubt hampers progress. A balance of both can result in huge amounts of success.

Firstly why do mid twenties doubt everything? Or ask questions at every juncture? Because they have baggage, they have carried their failures on their shoulder and the thought of another one scares them. Hence every single step they veer into is a conscious one, a backed up one.

This of course results in them losing out on many other things. People don't have patience and hence don't entertain a lot of questions and life doesn't wait for too long for your doubts to subside, opportunities run away.

What must one do?


Identify what you need to know only on the basis of present coordinates. Past is irrelevant for future plans
Doubts may be used constructively, not to avoid a plan but to enhance it. Positively frame or inquire questions
Doubt may still be dealt with but self doubt can never be. Believing in yourself is the first step, and forgiveness is its pre-cursor
Remember this time too no amount of questions can promise perfection. Failures are part of life

You tell us, do you too ask many questions? Do you believe you can only operate once backed up with data or assurances?

If you are taking part in A-Z blogging challenge this April, then do leave your blog link in comments, will surely link it up with my posts. Thanks!



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Apr 18, 2014

Permanently Peeved

I say if you have still got a doubt on the title then you are either not in your mid twenty or you have safely crossed over a hundred years of being alive. In that case I believe your memory is not assisting you in recalling this time.

Peeved? I checked the dictionary meaning to get my facts right.

peeve
piːv/Submit
informal
verb
past tense: peeved; past participle: peeved
1.
make (someone) rather annoyed; irritate.
A resentful mood:
"he was peeved at being excluded from the meeting"

So basically to irritate or get irritated. And I quietly nodded my head at both.

Think about it, why would a person who is in his mid twenty not be peeved? He is forever high low on social media. His life has not turned out be much like he had planned. His nights are chequered with mistakes of past and to top it all not deny he is approaching thirty.

Why did I use he everywhere? Where is my feminism? Why didn't I at least use he/she?

Why must this person not be peeved all the time? And in turn spread the spirit of joy annoy all around him/her (*phew*)?

Reasons may be plenty but being a midtwenty means to be forever into the mode of depression, frustration, irritation, imagination (?) Basically 'shunned' (Please don't miss the pun :D )

Tips someone to deal with this each day?

Remember that you are just another human being facing the music of age.
Life is too short to be twenty there is of course forty fifty sixty and hundred, Shahid Afridi hold the record of fastest fifty (Jokes and all :P )
If there is nothing going right perhaps some idea is still left.
Give yourself a chance, give your time a chance. Not everyday is a mid-twenty. There will be few called sixteen (oh they are gone? umm forget this point then.)



Well the author of this post has no idea how to deal with it, as you can clearly see. A lot of posts she has written these short gyaan sessions and gotten away with the short 'hypocrite' snort from the reader. But as she had promised she would document exactly she is feeling each day, today she decided to write about the twelve hour meeting she just finished. Irony is that in the dictionary meaning she picked up, the usage of the word was in the sentence>> "he was peeved at being excluded from the meeting" 

Got it? No?

Well try Permanently Peeved.

If you are taking part in A-Z blogging challenge this April, then do leave your blog link in comments, will surely link it up with my posts. Thanks!



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Apr 17, 2014

Does the job own you?

Does the job own you?

Some of you may quickly turn around and say but we don't have a job.

The idea is not job. Idea is that does responsibility or commitment to things own you?

I understand that being a twenty gets to be another era because of the word 'growing up' or 'responsibility' attached to it. And we spend major part of the twenty enjoying it. Past the middle ground of this decade though this begins to act like a baggage.

And when I say baggage I mean a lot of things, such as:

When jobs begin to act has harbingers of constant preoccupation
When jobs stop making us happy or proud but tensed and distressed
When jobs start to look as everyday things we have to to no matter what
when jobs stop giving us a break

Read the last line, when jobs stop giving us a break. I believe if we don't wish to do anything, no one can compel us into doing so. And hence when we say that jobs or responsibility tie us down we actually only employ the expression to create a fallacy.

What can we do to prevent this?



Create an 'I' and remember to center ideas around it
Never let your identity be determined by things other expect of you, but things you wish to do
Sense of accomplishment should be self-sustaining, not requiring validation at every juncture
The idea of being responsible is owning something not being owned by it.

In your everyday place, is there a responsibility or a task which you feel has become the center of your life? Share with us how you deal with such things.

If you are taking part in A-Z blogging challenge this April, then do leave your blog link in comments, will surely link it up with my posts. Thanks!



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Don't forget to tune in to #blogchatter every Tuesday at Nine PM IST. To read more about this twitter chat you can click here.

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